Saturday, January 23, 2010

Top 3 Resons Why X-Men:Origins SUCKS ASS!!!

Last summer, 20th Century Fox released a terrible, terrible movie, that was not only offensive to movie fans, but also to comic fans as well. This abomination of God, this defication on all things awsome, this, this, PIECE OF SHIT is truly, truly is, one of the worst, if the not THE WORST movie(s) ever made. Through gathering information from one of the best sources of comic book and movie information that in the world, my friend Rusty, I've compiled a list of the Top 3 Resaons why X-Men Origins: Wolverine SUCKS ASS!!! Now I know that there are way, way, WAY more that 3 flaws in this film, in fact, I could proably create an entire blog dedicated to the amount of feces Fox has concentrated into this "film", but these are just the three that got me the worst. In no particular order, let's begin.

Reason #1: Deadpool: and really all the characters in general, but Deadpool the most. I remember coming to school the day after I saw it and began describing it him at at lunch, and as soon as I reached Deadpool, he stopped me and started to tell me about how many ways Fox got this character wrong. Gone was the clever destruction of the fourth wall by our beloved "Merc with a Mouth", which was replaced with severly lack-luster Hollywood dialouge by a mockery of a great character.

I'ld like to change tactics now with my analasis of this movie and play someaht of a gmae with you readers. I've included two links to two pictures below this paragraph. One is the Deadpool form the comics and the other is the Deadpool from the movies, and I'ld like you guys to tell me, which one looks more impressive:

Comics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Deadpool.png
Movie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ReynoldsasDeadpool.jpg

No contest.

Reason #2: McGuffins: Now some you who are reading this post are thinkg to yourselves "What's a McGuffin, it sounds like some kind of rejecting McDonald's breakfast concept?" Well, not exactly. A McGuffin, according to Wikipedia is "a plot elememt that catches the viewers' attention or drives the plot of a work of fiction." Now, one or two McGffins is fine in any movie, but when you introduce a new character ever 20 minutes and leave them in the dust after one scene, that's just pure lazy writing. For example, there's a character in the begining of the film named Fred J. Dukes aka Blob in the movie. He's scen in a slim form at the beginning, completely drops of the face of the earth, and then appears just in one scene towards the end, after which he's never seen again. This is not just the case for Blob, this is the case for most of the characters, including John Wraith and Wade Wilson (aka DEADPOOL).

Reason #3: The Air Screaming: Listen, Fox, we all know Wolverine is angsty in the movie, with his girlfriend being killed and all, but honestly looking up to the sky and screaming, come on. That's the equivalent of Captain Kirk screaming "Khan!!!" every time he got mad... actually, that kinda cool. Well, that's all the time I have for now, now if you'll excuse me, I have to right another enty about how it's a scientific impossibilty that vampires can sparkle, and how it's a scientific impossibilty that vampires can exist.

Talk to ya'll later,
Ian

P.S: After watching this video, I have a message for Warner Bro. Thank you so, so much for rescuing Watchmen.

Special Thanks To: My friend Rusty for information and Youtube User FuryOfTheFilm fan enlightening me on what McGuffins are.

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